Who's the Boss?

6/13/2017

As parents, we expect our children to listen to us and follow our directions. We are the boss and we expect compliance and no pushback. When we want our children to do something we use many common phrases...

“How many times do I need to tell you?”

“1…2…” (the classic count to 3!)

“Do you want to leave/a timeout/a spanking!?”

“Because I said so!”

“I’m not going to tell you again!”

“You’ll be sorry”

"Don't make me come over there!"

Now, imagine that this isn’t coming out of a parent's mouth, but rather from YOUR boss. What if you’re boss said any of these things to you? How would you feel? How would you react? You would most likely feel underappreciated, vent to your spouse, be miserable on your commute home.

This is how are children are feeling and no wonder they are throwing tantrums, being non-compliant, feeling hurt, and talking back.

What if there’s a better way!? Alternatives we can put into practice today, that can change our relationship with our children. Practical strategies that lower both the parents’ and the child’s frustration, increase positive behaviors, and decrease problem behaviors.

This won't be a quick fix, it will take commitment and consistency! What if there is a way for you to discover the possibility of making yourself into the best “boss” you can be! You deserve it and so do your children.

Stay tuned for tips and strategies to use with your children that are practical and effective...

Kat

6/21/2017 12:24:46 pm

Having four young children with very different personalities, we found that our most difficult child responds very well to "1, 2, 3." As a child with speech and sensory challenges, it seems to be an effective "priming" method for her. However, I'm interested that you qualify this as negative. What would you suggest as a replacement strategy? I'm always looking to try new things!

Mike

6/21/2017 02:38:59 pm

Good point Kat! The overall concept is for parents to step back and hear themselves from the perspective of the kid (employee). If you are using the "1...2.." and you feel it is effective in decreasing a behavior then I'm all for it. Also, when using a calmer tone, some of those quotes can be used to help a child communicate. For instance..."Do you want to go home?" With an aggressive tone that comes across as very confrontational and can escalate the situation. Rather we could say with a calm voice the same question, just wondering "Honestly...what do you want to do? Do you want to go home? It seems like you're not having fun, etc." So our tone makes a big difference!
Yes! I have strategies to replace the "1...2.." But for those you need to pay $$. :) No, I'll be writing several posts about strategies over the next couple weeks. Stay tuned!

basics of behavior

Who's the Boss?

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Mike Wallach

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